. . . it's my LOVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
i went out on a bender last night.
things started off fairly civilized. i stopped by the best lower haight video store to pick up something to watch later with ryanee
and then i sprinted from the lower haight to the mission while drinking a can of sparks light out of a paper bag. why was i sprinting? well, i didn't want to be late for my friend dominic's birthday dinner, of course.
i left dinner slightly early (and only remotely more drunk than i was when i got there) to meet my friend jp (and 2 of his friends) at the 500 club.
jp and i met in the turks & caicos islands in 1998 while we were studying tropical marine resource management. jp was one of my favorite people on the island. most of the other people we studied with are now fat, married, with children, or all three. we, however, are hott as hell, fancy as fuck, and still partying like rock stars. also (and i like to bring this up every time i see jp) i took a punch in the kidneys and a slap in the face from a jealous girl over him. that's gangsta love, bitch. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaangstaaaaaaaaaaaaaa love. just look at him, though. it was so worth it. i would do it again in a heartbeat.incidentally, the girl who beat me up is now a science teacher in maryland (god bless google). i would totally make fun of her, but i think science is cool, so whatever.
anyhow, hellllllllllllllllooooo? back to me. hocus pocus, FOCUS.
ryanee met up with me at the 500 club, and when jp left, ryanee took over as my drinking buddy. this is where things begin to get hazy.
i remember saying good-bye to dominic and dan and leaving the 500 club on foot.
at this point my memories of the evening only exist because ryanee started to capture my erratic behavior on film.perfect example: at a certain point on the walk home i apparently gave up english in favor of parseltongue (and SHUT UP SLUTRA, i am NOT IN SLYTHERIN!).
parseltongue from blissforkface on Vimeo.
still speaking in tongue, i wanted to make sure everyone remembered to change their clocks for daylight savings time. wait for it. the PSA comes at the very end.
public service announcement from blissforkface on Vimeo.
did you catch it? did you remember to change your clocks? does anyone even have clocks anymore?
we walked and walked and walked until i broke down in panic. i desperately needed cake and a bathroom. holla at the big gay safeway in the sky.
late night safeway expedition from blissforkface on Vimeo.
luckily, after 7 sweeps of the bakery section, i found my cake. or rather ryanee found my cake because i refused to leave without it. we bought the cake and the danish to eat back at ryanee's place, but i just couldn't hold back.
eureka from blissforkface on Vimeo.
yum. cake. it's too bad i dropped half of it onto ryanee's bike.
alas, with the danish strapped into place, we walked the final 7 blocks. i woke up this morning to a half eaten danish in front of me, so i'm guessing we enjoyed it.the best part of all...i'm tired today, but i don't have a headache and i didn't throw up. somehow i'm getting my liver filtration capabilities back to the way they were in my golden days of yore. maybe it's all the exercising i've been doing lately. whatever it is, it's amazing.
or dangerous.
either way, i wish i remembered eating that cake. it looks crazy delicious in the video.
12 comments:
oh. hey feathers. that just made my day.
i somehow figured that you would enjoy my antics. don't show mom.
i like to watch you eat cake, like, really really. however, the journey to find it scares me because it sounds like the super twasted homeless people that you never know if they're about to shank you for your toonie or not. you know?
shank me for my toonie?
that sounds SO perv. i assume by toonie you mean twonie which is the equivalent of a buildingy or $2? silly canadian.
i'm not sure what a buildingy is but i meant $2 there are multiple ways to spell it my friend of scotian decent.
you make me want to go to the grocery store.
a loon is on a loony. a building is on a buildingy.
go to the grocery store and buy some cake already. here's a hint though: it's much easier to locate the correct square of cake if you're not wasted out of your mind.
who did you get the bitch slap from? i can't remember.
so is jp a dr or what? why did he leave the sunny land of FL?
oh GOD. you don't remember melissa (the super-tall chick) punching me and slapping me? she did it in the dinner line.
jp is a neonatology resident at stanford.
I MISS YOU, KRISTEN!!!! when can i come to alaska and visit you?
O yes... it is all coming back to me now. I remember her vaguely.
Come to visit me. The mom's group here is lame. They all sit and gossip together while their kids wreck havoc and make the younger ones cry.
I need a good buddy here.
Okay, Scott Whipple exposed me to this blog and Im sorry, but for the first time today, I laughed out loud when "This is the best cake eva!!!" came out of your mouth.
Okay, this is what your mother meant by risky behavior. I know because I am your mother. Cork up that bottle, baby.
P.S. I love you anyway.
oops mom. i honestly didn't think i had very much to drink. then all of a sudden...BAM! miss blissbehavior emerges. luckily ryanee is a very responsible babysitter.
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